We put Skulduggery Pleasant author Derek Landy to the test against our fearless Editor, Dan.

Who's the better writer? You choose! Comment and let us know!

THE RANDOM TOPIC: You don’t normally wear a dress… It’s unsettling...

Derek's Story:

“What do you mean? Why do you say that? Are you saying I can’t wear this dress? Are you saying I’m fat? Are you saying I’m ugly? Are you saying I can’t wear it because it’s too low cut and I don’t have the chest for it, or the hemline is too high and I don’t have the legs for it? Is that what you’re saying? Are you trying to oppress me with your own subjective ideas of beauty?”

“Well, I suppose I am,” Bobo admitted. “And also, you’re a monkey.”

Dan's Story:

“You don’t normally wear a dress… It’s unsettling.”

"It's impossible for you to be unsettled," I said, "you're not programmed for it. And it's not a dress, it's a kilt."

"Well, whatever it is, I don't like it." said PAX, "I can see your ambulatory appendages." I sighed. 

“PAX, I need you to concentrate,” I said “forget about my legs and focus on getting us down in one piece.”

Ben Nevis appeared through the low cloud and PAX corrected for the gusting wind. I could almost hear the skirling pipes. After nearly three hundred years, I was coming home.